Bad Omen

*This contains graphic descriptions, if you have a queasy stomach don’t read this*

One day on our way to work, we passed road kill. Right then we knew this day was going to be rough. Little did we know it would only get worse from there.

At 7 am we came across a bird carcass. Then while driving in the truck Caitlin looked down to discover a spider crawling on her leg. There were screams and stumbling to get out of the truck, and then an awkward dance along the side of the road to make sure it was off.

At 8 am we noticed that hank was smoking and had a leak, so we had to take Wonton (the one ton) for an hour or so while hank got fixed.

At 9 am we had the once in a lifetime opportunity to clean up paper towels that were used as confetti for a party held at the carnival honey buckets. This involved us crawling between bushes and honey buckets that had been left in 100* weather for 5 days. It was joyous. While we were doing this we were entertained by a local woman yelling after her children’s Sunday school teacher for teaching her children the ways of the devil.

At 10 am we discovered the trash we were changing had become a maggot community. This trashcan of course was not any trashcan. It was the one trashcan that a punk had chosen to use to climb on the bathroom roof. The chances of this chosen can to be full of maggots are about the same as the chances of us winning the lottery. This led to Caitlin using a shovel scooping up maggot infested trash while gagging and struggling to breathe.

At 11 am was yet another repulsive smelling trash.

At 12 am we arrived at a park, both trashcan’s liners had fallen in, and the sprinklers were on. We accepted the challenge. Prepared with trash bag ponchos and headscarves we ran into no mans land, dodging the fire of the sprinklers. We were successful in getting to the trashcan without getting wet. The liner changing took quick reflexes in order to get the trash and avoid getting wet. We were successful. On the way back to the truck, the vomit water from the trash bag leaked into Caitlin's shoe, drenching it in stench. Distracted by her now wet shoe she was hit by a sprinkler.

At 1 pm a heinous crime was committed. We unwillingly witnessed this unspeakable crime. Screams were released, eyes bled, innocence was lost, the police were called, and a complaint filed. An officer called us right back to hear the details. Awkward questions were asked and answered.